How to Fall Out of Love After Infidelity
Updated: Mar 3
If we follow the old adage "you can't make someone love you," it stands to reason that you can get out of a relationship just as emphatically. The best-case scenario is that the infidelity (which in itself might be grounds for ending) leads to both partners concluding that they are better off apart. But even when one partner wants out, it's not always easy. By learning how to fall out of love with someone after infidelity, you might be able to make the break easier.
There are many reasons people fall out of love with their partners, and infidelity is just one of them. It could be that you've simply grown apart and have different interests or realize you're not compatible. Maybe you don't feel appreciated or valued in the relationship, or there's a general feeling that something is off.
Whatever the reason, if you're struggling with how to fall out of love, know that you're not alone. Falling out of love after infidelity with someone you once loved deeply is tough, but it's something that happens to almost everyone at some point. Everyone is different, and what works for one person might not work for another. That said, some general tips might help you along the way.
1. Spend time apart
This is one of the most important things you can do when trying to fall out of love with someone. If you're always around your partner, it will be much harder to stop loving them. Even if you're not working, get out of the house and do something. Retreat and regroup if you feel like you're getting sucked back into the relationship.
Falling out of love with someone can take time. Giving yourself space will allow for a more gradual transition. To get back in touch with yourself, try spending time with family and friends. Travel, do things on your own, or let yourself feel free of your partner's influence. Cutting them off completely will only work if you're ready for the transition.
Related reading: 13 Signs You Can't Trust Your Partner
2. Focus on yourself
When you're in a relationship, you tend to focus on the other person and forget about yourself. You might also feel that your entire life revolves around the relationship and your partner. This can be dangerous because a part of you can lose touch with what you want out of life.
To fall out of love with someone, you need to focus on yourself. This means doing things that make you happy and spending time with people who make you feel good. It might mean taking up a new hobby or exploring your passions. Whatever it is, find something that is just for you and that will help you remember who you are outside of the relationship.
3. Talk to a therapist
If you're feeling stuck in the transition out of love, it may be too late for couples therapy and you should consider talking to a therapist individually. A therapist can help you understand why you fell in love with your partner, as well as why you're no longer in love with them.
They can help you sort through your feelings and figure out what's next in your life. A therapist may also introduce you to new concepts you've never considered, which will give you a new perspective on your relationship and your part in it.
4. Do something nice for yourself
One of the hardest parts of learning how to fall out of love with someone is reconnecting with yourself. That's because no matter what happened in the relationship, a part of you still loved that person. You may even feel guilty, or like you don't deserve happiness now that the relationship is over. To fall out of love, you need to start doing something nice for yourself.
Make plans with friends or family. Get a facial or go to the movies. Buy yourself flowers or an encouraging book. Treat yourself to a new outfit, sexy underwear, or anything else that makes you feel attractive and confident about yourself. Do whatever it takes, and don't feel bad about it - it's time you put your own needs first.
5. Don't take it personally
When you're falling out of love with someone, there's a tendency to blame yourself and think that it's all your fault. After all, if everything had been better and you hadn't wished for things to be different, none of this would've happened. But people who cheat are not always happy with the relationship. They may feel trapped or unappreciated, just like you do. And relationships never stay the same forever - people change, and so do their needs.
Even if your partner is fully responsible for cheating, it's not the end of the world. Everyone makes mistakes, and you know that everyone makes mistakes. Just remember that your partner did something wrong, and it's not your fault. Accept yourself for who you are and move on.
6. Talk about the relationship with other people
It's hard to be objective when you're in love and even worse when you're trying to fall out of love. But if you have strong feelings about what happened and why the relationship isn't working anymore, it's best to talk with someone else. Talking with friends and family can help you get some perspective. They may have insight into what happened that you don't have, or they might be able to help you view your ex-partner in a new light.
Don't share too much with people who may judge you or have strong opinions about why the relationship didn't work out. Talking with a therapist is a great idea if you're struggling to fall out of love. And if you're feeling angry and bitter, it's best to talk to someone else. That way, you'll know that your feelings are coming from a healthy place and not some sort of lingering toxicity.
7. Write about your feelings
If you feel like your head is a little too full and you can't talk to anyone, try writing about your feelings. It's often easier to write down what you're thinking and feeling than it is to say the same things out loud. Writing a letter to your ex-partner is another great way to sort through how you feel without being confrontational. Writing can be an extremely cathartic process that helps put things into perspective while giving you some clarity on how to fall out of love. You can also journal about your thoughts and feelings to help you access them when you need them most.
8. Don't compare
It's easy to get caught up comparing yourself and other people, especially when it comes to relationships. You might be thinking about how your ex-partner is doing compared to you or about how you want someone different than who you've been with before. Try not to compare yourself or think negatively about your situation because this will always lead you down the wrong path.
This can cause unnecessary drama, hurt feelings, and jealousy - all things that are completely unnecessary for you to deal with at the moment. You will learn how to fall out of love if you take things one step at a time, and you'll find that there's a world of opportunity out there for you. In the end, it's best to be true to yourself and do what feels right.
9. Be kind to yourself
At the end of the day, you're doing your best. And that's what matters most. You don't have to be perfect or even feel good about everything that happened to learn how to fall out of love. You only need to recognize that you are not a bad person and you did your best - and then accept yourself for who you are.
Be patient with yourself as you go through this process. It's OK if you're not ready to move on right away or if you need some time to grieve the loss of your relationship. Just take each day as it comes and be kind to yourself along the way. You'll get there eventually.
10. Don't let yourself get stuck in the past
It's important to reflect on your relationship, but there are many times when it's best to move on. One of the biggest mistakes you can make is spending too much time thinking about what happened and why it didn't work out. This can lead to obsessing over every little detail to figure out where things went wrong. And while this may temporarily help you cope with what happened, ultimately, it won't help you learn how to fall out of love.
It's much easier to move on when you don't spend all your time dwelling on the past. No matter what your situation is, it's best to think about it from an objective point of view and let it go. Although this can be hard, there are plenty of ways of letting go of things that you might not know about. A therapist can help you learn how to let go, along with other methods that help you get through the pain and heartbreak as quickly as possible so you can start over again.
11. Don't be afraid to set boundaries
The worst thing you can do if you're not ready to move on is to try and force things. You have every right to take time for yourself if that's what you need. You should also be truthful and upfront with your feelings, so don't be afraid to look at things realistically and set some boundaries if need be.
This could be things like not answering texts or calls, switching off social media accounts, or asking them to leave you alone until you're ready to talk. There are no rules when it comes to dating or relationships, and if something isn't working out, you have every right to change it.
In the end, you'll learn how to fall out of love with the right attitude and perspective. Although this process can be painful, learning to love and accept yourself will help you get over any heartbreak.
12. Don't try to fix things
Don't try to fix things that aren't broken - especially when you're trying to fall out of love. Sometimes things just don't work out, and there's nothing you can do about that. Infidelity, cheating, or something else as bad as what you've gone through isn't something you can fix.
Trying to force things or forcing yourself to fall for someone again will only lead to frustration and heartbreak. You have every right to be sad or angry in the beginning, and it's OK if you can't move on right away. You have to take things one step at a time, and it's OK to be upset. But in the end, you'll learn how to fall out of love with the right attitude as opposed to getting stuck in the past.
13. Be positive
Don't get caught up in what went wrong or what could have been. Instead, focus on the present and how things are going right now. Focus on the good, not the bad, or what could have been different in your situation. Being negative will only bring out the worst in you, and it'll make your transition to falling out of love much harder than it needs to be.
You can feel sad or angry, but don't let that drag you down. Be optimistic and focus on trying to be the best version of yourself that you can be. You don't have to think about what happened when it happened or why it happened. Just take things one step at a time and focus on being positive in every way. You'll get there eventually.
14. Remember that you're worthy of love
Learning how to fall out of love can be a bitter pill to swallow, especially if it's the first time you've felt such strong feelings for someone. After all, there are few things worse than thinking that the right person has found you only to learn that they didn't see the real you. It can also be a very scary process if it's the first time you've been through this kind of transition. But falling out of love is just a part of growing into your adulthood and independence.
Remember that you are worthy of love and will find it again. You'll make mistakes and have bad relationships, but they're all part of the process, and it's OK to feel sad or scared in the beginning. No relationship is perfect, and you can't force yourself to love anyone, but you are worthy of love and happiness. It may take some time, but eventually, you'll learn how to fall out of love on your terms.
15. Take it slow
Getting back into dating isn't something that you can rush or force. It takes time to heal after something traumatic, and there are things you have to do to get your life back on track. You have to take time for yourself and focus on getting your life back in order. This doesn't mean hanging out at home all day and doing nothing, but it does mean taking care of yourself so you can be ready to make new relationships.
Try your best not to rush things too much. Learning how to fall out of love doesn't happen overnight, and you have to take everything one step at a time. Getting back into dating isn't something that will happen after one or two dates, but with enough patience, you'll find someone who can help you move on. Ultimately, you'll learn how to fall out of love on your terms, and that's all that matters.
16. Never stop believing in love
Even though you don't have to rush into another relationship, learning how to fall out of love won't be easy. But don't ever stop believing in love. Just because it didn't work out the first time, or even the second or third time, doesn't mean that you won't find love again. You don't have to settle for anyone who comes along, and you can still believe in true love. It's just a matter of waiting until you find it and putting in some extra work to get there.
You'll have your heart broken again and again, but that's all part of the process. You'll have your first heartbreak and struggle, but that's all part of growing into adulthood and becoming the person that you always wanted to be. Love doesn't always come in the form of a perfect relationship, but if you're lucky, you'll find someone who loves you for who you are. If not, then at least you learned how to fall out of love with the right attitude.
Learning how to fall out of love was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, and it's something that everyone has to go through at some point in their lives. There's no magic formula or easy way to get back on your feet after a betrayal or heartbreak, but there are ways that you can learn how to fall out of love if need be and move on with your life.
There's no point in feeling embarrassed or ashamed; falling out of love is a natural process and only a moment in life. Every person goes through it at some point, even if it's not the first time you've done so. Falling out of love can be a painful experience and one that is often difficult to deal with, but with the right attitude and mindset, you can overcome anything. It might take some time to learn how to fall out of love, but once you do, you'll feel better than ever before.